There has been another version of the Homeric epic about the Trojan War locked in a time-sensitive vault. Fortunately, Dr. Ullible happened to be there at the opening of the vault, and somehow managed to take a look at the epic.
There have always been rumors that Hooahbears were there at the Trojan War. Not only has it been hotly debated whether the bears were a part of the great war between Greeks and Trojans that eventually led to the sack of Troy, but historians have also argued whether Hooahbears had any impact on the war itself.
This version, called the Venetus Primum, has been dated as being copied sometime around 700 AD. Homer again is thought to be the source. It tells the tale of Trojans and Greeks and basically follows the story of Ulysses, a Hooahbear who helps the Greeks take the city of Troy by devising a clever trick…the Trojan Bear. Instead of being filled with Greeks it is filled with Hooahbears, who open the gates of Troy and let the Greek army into the city in the dead of night. They argue it is much more plausible to have built a hollow wooden image that could fit several Hooahbears than several full grown Greek warriors.
Some scholars have scoffed at the authenticity of this version. However, there is other proof that perhaps this might be the poem as originally intended by Homer. At a site near the sack of Troy, there was recently unearthed an intact urn dated around 550BC. It definitely doesn’t depict a Trojan horse.
How did they come to be called Hooahbears?
It is easy to assume that the name is somehow associated with the army, but nothing could be further from the truth. Apparently, when Noah was building his ark and loading the animals on two by two, he thought that he had managed to get all the animals on board and was about to shut the door. Just as the massive door was closing he heard a voice say, “Knock, knock!”. Noah could not help but ask, “Who’s there?” The answer, of course was “a bear”. Unfortunately, this was mistranslated to “Hooahbear” but the name stuck to the little bears. It wasn’t until the Dead Sea Scrolls were found that the mistake was found, but by then it was too late and “Hooahbear” was here to stay. One might note that this was also the first “Knock, Knock” joke ever recorded.