Scientific Classification

Ursus Exercitus parvusFrom Linnaeus’ Systema Naturae:

Ursus Exercitus parvus

“An exceedingly small bear with military bearing  and  helmet.”

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Inhabitants of Mount Hooah: Dan’l


Dan'l of HLS security
Dan’l also came under the watchful eye of Aesop as he was picking the members of the amphibious division of  Hooahland Security (HLS).  The frog had quite a hopping reputation, and
was celebrated for his jumping abilities.  One day, he was putting on an exhibition hop at the local Mount Hooah parade grounds.  During one impressive leap, Dan’l not only managed to break his own personal record for distance, but also snagged an unwary fly at the same time, which greatly impressed all the audience, including Aesop.  He was signed that day.
Dan’l  has the duty  to watch the road that leads to Mount Hooah, and alert Aesop of any suspicious movement, such as a Weed or a Bean getting too close.  He does an excellent job most of the time, but does have a weakness for flies, whose alluring buzz can sometimes be too much for his self control.  He has had to be disciplined on occasion when he has succumbed to temptation, usually involving an airborne session with Sgt. Will, who is in charge of the air division of HLS.

 

 

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Inhabitants of Mount Hooah: Aesop

aesopGuarding the perimeter of Mount Hooah is always a problem, with Human Beans, Weeds, and other invaders constantly intruding on the Hooahbears.  Following an incident with a particular obnoxious Weed, Hooahland Security, or HSL was formed.  It is made up of different members, allowing for surveillance of air, land,  and sea.  The head of security is Aesop, who as a retired commanding officer of the Tanks division has a great deal of expertise in making sure the HLS runs smoothly.  You might recall reading about Aesop as being the winner of the Windebear marathon.

 

 

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Gallileo and the Leaning Tower of Pisa

Gallileo's experimentScientists and historians alike have worked hard to prove that Gallileo’s famous experiment with two unlike objects falling at the same speed never happened.  Dr. Ullible was suspicious at how hard they were trying to assure the public that it was only a thought experiment.  It made him think that perhaps the thought experiment was more than wishful thinking An illustration on a missing page  from On Motion shows what really happened.

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Human Beans: Jingle Bean

The Hooahbears have one Human Bean that they study in particular; they call her Jingle Bean.  She is always under observation by the Hooahbears as they can study Bean behavior. jingle walking She is the ideal specimen, as she is closer to their size and thus not as threatening as a Big Bean.  She also has bells in her hair, so they know her location at all times when she is on Mount Hooah.   Her Dad gave her the bells before he got deployed to go overseas.   She also always has her trusty slingshot with her, since she’s heard a lot of stories about Hooahbears, and wouldn’t want to encounter a Hooahbear without something to defend herself.

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Inhabitants of Mount Hooah: Ulysses

ulysses of Mount HooahIt’s time to learn the names of all these creatures that run around Mount Hooah.  First, we’d like to introduce you to Ulysses.

Ulysses is 8 inches (he claims he’s 8 and 1/2 but we all know that was with his shoes on) and 66.72 ounces of pure Hooah.  He can’t run the fastest, climb the highest, or lift the most weight, but everyone agrees he is the best Hooahbear around.  Perhaps it’s because he says he’s the best. He’s the main scout for the Hooahbears, and keeps an eye out for intruders that wander onto Mount Hooah, such as Human Beans and Weeds.   Along with Doug,  his faithful guardbug,  and his peanut gun he defends Mount Hooah to the best of his ability.

Ulysses is said to be a direct descendent and namesake of the famous Ulysses of the Trojan Bear.  It might be noted however, that once again Ulysses is the one saying it.

 

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Evidence for Hooahbears at Pompeii Erupts on the Scene

pompeiiDr. Ullible continues on his lifelong mission of proving Hooahbears exist.  On a recent trip to Italy, he went to the ruins of Pompeii and to the Villa of Mysteries.  Going off the beaten tourist path, he came upon a well-preserved fresco that was kept hidden from the general public.  When he asked the curator as to why this particular fresco was not available for viewing, he was told it was because”…the public is not yet ready.”  Perhaps the Villa of Mysteries refers to the existence of Hooahbears and  not to the rituals that were performed there.

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